This guy seemed to enjoy his self on his B Day the best way most of us can...By calling earl after a long night of drinking and smoking (vice versa) smoking and drinking.....
I have learned 3 valuable lessons this past weekend:
1. I should have been born Italiano cause my love for meatballs (pause), eggplant parmesan, and pizza bread is infinite. Esh's Mom's Christmas party is the best ish since ThanksGiving!!!
2. I am an absolute beast when it comes to the "giving" aspect of Christmas, and, as much as I'm perceived as "the least humble cat" some people have ever known, I don't need to show yall my shopping receipts to drive home a point.
3. Toys R Us attracts the most thugged out contingent on the planet. Now we should all praise and give thanks that society's so-called biggest threat actually care for their kids extra on the holidays nowadays, but imagine the culture shock I experienced having passed through Geoffrey the Giraffe's headquarters for the 3rd year in a row (my daughter is 2 and this is her 3rd Christmas, I won't front, I hadn't been in Toys R Us for like 20 years or longer before her birth) and all the white house wives were replaced with cats larger than my 6 foot 200 pound frame, squeezing toy Mickey Mouse's feet, waiting for the likkle jingle to jump off, and giggling like skool girls...while looking at me waiting for me to join in on said giggling....Awkward, money. Awkward.
PS: I hate seeing people I haven't seen in years whilst shopping...Like anyone wants to speak on it mid stroke emptying their pockets in the tide of Yule. Bah-Humbug, suckas...